| The Girl's Guide to Casual Sex |
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| Written by Zingy Galore | |
| Monday, 30 June 2008 15:26 | |
 Some women are fantastic with blenders, knitting needles and recipe books. I'm great with one night stands. I believe I have it all down-pat. Nothing fazes me, and while many may frown upon the sinful deed that involves few commitments, other than sexy lingerie or going commando, I feel that more should be done to encourage sex positivity in this area. This casual confidence didn't evolve overnight. I, like many, have trudged through the swamp of sexual morals, enduring more 'but what about the future?' questions from my female buddies. Will I ever see him again, and what about me? What about me? I enjoyed it, and expected nothing more than a temporary tussle in the hay – that boosted my endorphins. Things do happen, and whether we like it or not, casual sex often happens when least expected and if it is planned, it isn't a social catastrophe. I have next to not time to nurture new relationships when I'm between a rock and a deadline. Many struggle to maintain relationships during seventy hour weeks. Should we all be wearing chastity belts? May, a good friend of mine, holds a similar view. "Each time I'm asked about my romantic life, I say that I'm seeing a few people and I leave it at that." May's view is that people will immediately assume she is dating, and keeping her options open. "If I'm honest, tell them that I have casual sex, they'll ostracize me." Negotiating sexual autonomy and independence can be a sticky feat. Pretense can be a regular role that is played out, or arrives during social gatherings. It isn't easy to respond with, "I'm trying to make up my mind for tonight: Tony, Michael or Bill the hot babe?" One night stands can be positive. They can provide the ideal opportunity for you to try out a new sex technique. If you make an error, or like me, squeeze a littler harder trying The Squeeze Technique, it isn't the be all and end all. How to have a guilt-free casual encounter? Timing Timing, as it has been said (to the point of nausea), is everything and with one night stands, the ideal time is the time you don't feel vulnerable. Immediate flings following relationships break ups aren't ideal, often leaving room for nostalgia followed by The Morning Blues. Casual sex doesn't generate immediate confidence for the confidence challenged. Burp and Tipple Safe Sex The Safety Hatch Repeat after me: I thou shalt not expect nor demand a telephone number, or offer my contact details. Attachment can occur, and it can spell doom. Forget about the soppy romantic articles. As my friend May says, "whoever met their soulmate after a one night stand? What are the chances? Talk about setting yourself up for agony." The Breakfast Dilemma I have often endured the rudeness of a casual partner expecting room service after a random night of fun. The trick is to state your expectations beforehand, and if that means they are to vacate your residence before morning, then so be it. What Walk of Shame? This little social trinket is annoying. Why are women forever associated with the "walk of shame?" The common quote associates shame and sex. How dare you have a hot night with a stranger or buddy? Moreover, how dare you inflict the general public with last night's ensemble? It's so old fashioned, it's absurd but there are ways to face the world looking fresher than ever and that boils down to the size of your purse. Tiny designer numbers aren't silly, they're useless. If you're planning a night of sexy fun, don't take a purse that barely fits your box of tampons, take a medium to large sized hobo. This way you will be able to fit a bottle of Evian spray (for a refreshing spritz), tube of pH balance vagina cleanser, extra pair of panties, GHD hair iron, sunglasses and lipstick. My favorite post one night stand look can be summed up by two things: black sunglasses and lipstick. It works for me. This way, the eye of a passerby will be immediately drawn to the lipstick and celeb sunglasses look, instead of last night's (slightly creased) ensemble. You have to find a look that works for you. © 2008 Zingy Galore
Zingy Galore is a freelance writer with a MFA in sex and attitude. She can also be found trying her hand at blogging on Conversations with Bod. She can be found dabbling in mystery, humor and literary short stories - with a tamer name.
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The vagina isn't a perfect cleaning machine, but a highly sensitive biological cleaning machine. Some soaps can disturb its environment as can certain toilet tissues, tampons, latex condoms, etc. Infection/irritation may arise when the balance is off, however there are women who are not satisfied with using water alone, which is why doctors recommend a pH balance solution for external hygiene. It is not an internal douche, but it is a solution - like shower gel - that is not an irritant. Like skin secretions, if vaginal secretions aren't cleaned daily, the odor tends to build up. Vaginal discharge varies from one woman to the next, depending on hormone activity and monthly cycle. When they say that the vagina self cleans, that is true but it is based on the internal part of the vagina. The external does not clean itself, and if it is not cleaned properly, the fragrance may be less enchanting over time.
- Nicholas
It is an absolute fact of economics (which isn't about money), that those with the product set the price for those with the demand. There simply isn't a demand for men that will have causal sex. They are a dime a dozen. But women that will have causal sex, that is a rarity that can demand whatever price the market will bear, and since men want to have sex, the price is quite high. I applaud the women that are willing to have casual sex, and think that more people should relax and have fun while they can, because the older you get, the less wanted your commodity really is. Enjoy it or lose it.
It is okay Brad. We wait until the third date
So women, one day find that love of life they were seeking. Now, the WOMEN know what they like/don't, but unless the guy is a reformed asshole, he probably has NO idea how to give to her what she is [hopefully] asking for. Maybe she gets bored, or he gets his ego or confidence crushed by his intimidatingly more experienced woman.
RESULT:
Woman seeks gratification elsewhere; Or, man seeks confidence rebuilding elsewhere.
THUS ENDING THIS "LOVE OF HER LIFE," having sabotaged the whole thing from the beginning.
So there's no more female walk of shame. FINE. GOOD. GREAT! Spend as many nights as ya'll may need [selfishly] learning about your personal likes/dislikes (for your future benefit), meanwhile, never committing to anything because YOU must leave room for being able to upgrade whenever that new "possible love/life" presents itself. WOMEN can do this guilt free, despite every reason for the behavior being selfish, because WOMEN are the gatekeepers to sex!
ON THE FLIP SIDE...
Men, who might actually be future love material, usually don't have the option to just go and have sex whenever they want to be "selfish for a better-future". Those selfish men that must run game/ lie to progress to sex, may be more experienced to help you "learn yourself" more quickly. I highly doubt, though, that the majority of them are "future material."