|
One night stands, friends with benefits and fuck buddies: The casual sex debate always simmers. Should we or shouldn’t we? Is it too rash and dangerous, or a part of life?
It would be presumptuous to define genders, and project standards on male or female behavior, or speculate. People often keep their intimate cards within their chest of sexual treasures (or Pandora Box), and gender roles may not enter the equation when hormones kick in, but mainstream films prefer the easy fix. Stereotypes abound. The film, Knocked Up, did manage to inject humor into a typical one night stand. Girl meets boy (she probably would not sleep with sober), girl and boy have sex, and girl winds up pregnant to the boy she’d normally not date. The film merged humor, social commentary and sexual caution, to conclude with a nice enough ending - boy and girl fall in love, and live happily ever after.
Casual sex is linked with negative outcomes. In Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl’s character is impregnated. In Fatal Attraction, Michael Douglas is pursued by a psychotic lover, and Basic Instinct isn’t gentler in its portrayal of casual sex. The message is clear (in these films): casual sex is dangerous.
Let’s look at the pros and cons.
The Pros:
- Sex is enjoyable, burns calories and provides more fun than any film sequel (with condoms, of course).
- The commitment factor is zero: no obligations, tests, trials or torturous ‘we need to talk’ conversations.
- Sitting by the phone, or constantly checking your cell phone flies from the window.
- One of the most popular documented sexual fantasies is that which involves doing the deed with a perfect stranger: a one night stand can fulfill this fantasy without any freaky add-ons.
The Cons:
- Stranger sex may be an exciting fantasy, but it can be dangerous; Gump’s chocolate box may turn out to be something else.
- While condoms act as a barrier for some of the nastier STD’s, they don’t prevent things such as pubic lice or Herpes. The absence of a dental dam during cunnilingus may not be a wise idea if the giver has a cold sore on their mouth.
- Peer pressure, or the need to fit doesn’t necessarily translate to great sex.
- High alcohol consumption can impede sexual performance, to result in delayed orgasm and/or erectile dysfunction (‘softcock syndrome’).
Whether to engage or disengage?
There is no real rule. It is always up to the individual and situation. The important thing to remember - apart from prophylactics - is that one night stands aren’t meant to be automatic relationship kick starters. Remembering that can prevent disappointment.
|
