Bisexuality, BDSM and the Myth of Violent Pornography

Who I am

My name is on the petition to the government, as one more person who understands what this ban symbolizes. I live in the North West of England in Greater Manchester. I am a bisexual woman aged 25, who is engaged to, and lives with, a female partner. I work in the media and so, for personal protection, I will use my pseudonym of fck.

Bisexuality and the BDSM Community

As a bisexual woman, I have the capacity to love and sexually be with a person of either sex. Due to misconception, bisexuality is sometimes referred to as promiscuity, polygamy, ‘living the swinging lifestyle’ and/or being ‘confused’.# Furthermore, the erroneous idea that bisexuals carry STDs simply supports fear of a widespread sexual orientation. Some believe that people who express their sexuality as Bi are in fact following a trend, publicized by celebrities and media idols. It took me many years to come to terms with my desire and my need to romantically, sexually and emotionally connect to someone of the same sex.

The use of the words ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’, when talking about a sexual practice, is based on the ethical and moral standards that religious beliefs, law or other human codes place upon sexuality in all its many forms. The term ‘violent pornography’ instills panic about the categorization of still images and motion productions of a kind that the majority of western society enjoys. Yet the mainstream of the sexual freedom revolution has created and encouraged an information web that can both liberate and suppress the infinite possibilities and questions created by individuals.

For my part, the internet freed me from the guilt and shame I carried in regards to my sexual needs. It helped me to realize my desires through insight into the sexual practices of a community that declared ‘safe, sane and consensual’ as an ideal and principle – the BDSM community. The images I looked at educated me in the anodyne practice of BDSM, and made clear the levels of physical well-being and emotional security required to engage in the lifestyle. These images, and the webpages that hosted them, provided instruction and support, and revealed a community of genuine people, many of whom have become my close friends.

I have learnt ethics from people in this lifestyle; people who some see as deviant, perverse abusers who should be stricken from society. These principles challenge the stereotype of those engaged in the BDSM lifestyle, and the majority of society could learn from them.

• Fidelity: this is loyalty at its finest, always faithful. Fidelity applies not just to the loyalty of an individual to their partner, but also to their entire household, and to their extended family/friends in the community.

• Integrity: this embraces both consistency and truthfulness. Mean what you say, say what you mean, or say nothing at all. Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk. Never be deceitful.

• Honour: this is a personal code often associated with warrior traditions. One’s honour is an extension of one’s self and represents what is highest and best in the person. Your honour is affected by your adherence to all of the other values within the lifestyle you follow.

• Courtesy and Hospitality: these are core values shared by many cultures. They dictate how we treat guests, how we are to interact with others etc. Note that the imperative to be courteous applies equally to primary relationships and all others.

• Dedication: this relates to the duty to improve oneself at all times, regardless of status within the community’s continuum. One consciously practises the skills, techniques, values and philosophies of the particular lifestyle one adheres to. This embraces the dedication of an individual in making his/her relationship the best it can possibly be, and dedicating him/herself to another completely, with honest trust and communication.

• Proficiency: it is imperative that a person develops their skills to a level of competent proficiency, and constantly works to improve those skills. Many lifestyles have a formal series of steps one goes through before one earns a specific competency and reputation for emotional safety and physical protection.

• Appreciation: we learn to appreciate that each person’s gifts, talents, roles and practices are important. Each interaction shows consideration for personal boundaries and acknowledges every unique request.

‘Violent Pornography’ in Film

I dislike the term ‘violent pornography’, because it suggests sadistic, abusive and brutal imagery that is exploitative and obscene in content. It ignores the fact that stills from a film can be easily misconstrued. Consequently, interpretation of an innocent representation could leave an individual guilty of possession. The government proposal states that “people who come into contact with pornography material by accident” will not be affected. However, it also states that “viewing images”, i.e. “downloading the information on to the computer” will render a user liable, if that information is deemed to be violent pornography.
So the main issue here is clarity as to who the proposed law is aimed at, and who it is protecting? An argument for this law is that young children who have access to the internet can come across inappropriate images, but personally I think this simply highlights parents’ obligation to provide supervision. I agree that adult material with sexually explicit content should never be viewed by people under the age of 18, but innocent minds are not the only ones being controlled here.
One claim goes: “These forms of violent and abusive pornography go far beyond what we allow to be shown in films or even sold in licensed sex shops in the UK, so they should not be available online either.” I disagree with this statement, as there have been many general release adult films produced for public viewing, including Wolf Creek, Hostel, James Bond: Casino Royale, Devil’s Rejects etc, that contain violent, abusive content of an artificial nature. Certainly these motion pictures are not designed for pornographic purposes; however, they do show extreme bloodshed and torture, with brutality and bondage of some kind. So the question remains, if a single frame was downloaded onto a computer from any of these mainstream films, and incorrectly labeled, would a person go through investigation, media attention, family shame and horrific invasion of privacy due to the misinterpretation of potential ‘violent pornographic material’?
Furthermore, the government makes statements such as: “We do feel it necessary to provide some form of protection for the public. There is a responsibility to ‘reduce demand’ for this kind of material, both to protect those who were abused in its making and the public.” – this suggest that we the public need saving from ourselves. Adults are being treated as naïve idiots who need to be told what to look at and what to think. George Orwell’s 1984 comes to mind as a probable future for us.

Additionally, the terms ‘sexual violence’ and ‘extreme perversion’ are used regularly to justify the creation of the law, but I question this terminology. A dramatization or fantasy mock-up could be created with actors depicting a scene of rape, but the actors involved are playing a part and completely in control of the situation. If an image is captured from this sequence and then shown on the internet, we have another situation where misunderstanding could lead to investigation and prosecution. The problem when using the term ‘sexual violence’ in reference to a clip or image seen on the internet is that an investigation would have to prove that the people shown in the material were non-consenting.

Extreme Ritual in Other Cultures

According to Law Society/BMA documentation: “An individual is presumed to be competent or to have mental capacity to enter into a particular transaction, until the contrary is proved” (1995). Therefore, with regard to ‘sexual violence’, a person must be proven not to be of sound mind in order for consent to be considered invalid. Equally, the phrases ‘extreme perversion’ and ‘brutal, abusive and violent’ are all relative. Take for example the customs and rituals of other cultures, which include ceremonial acts of religion. For instance -

• One Thai ritual involves people striking their backs with blades , knives and swords, walking on hot coals , scrubbing their lips and tongues with blades till bloody and even climbing ladders made of sharp blades for good fortune in the year ahead.

• The Native American Sun Dance features a dancer being pierced in the chest or back, attached to a sacred tree and then pulling until the piercing rips free.

• In the Hindu Kavadi, people wear cages of spears and hooks or even pull religious effigies by hooks in their skin.

Just because it is something we don’t understand, we do not have the right to brand a particular ritual, body modification or brutal-looking image as ‘extreme perversion’. Some people believe that the act of sadomasochism is more an expression of a person’s spiritual ritual, or even a form of guided meditation that provides emotional release from inner pain; others use it as an inner journey, or an endorphin rush much the same as an athlete feels after exertion from exercise. In rape fantasies, the focus is on the feeling of having no control, and the direct difference between fantasy and reality is that ‘nobody wants to be raped, and you cannot rape the willing’. The ethos of BDSM practice is freedom from inhibitions through escapism, appreciation of trust and respect for another person, but instead of embracing those qualities, the government deems such practices ‘extreme perversion’.

The Fallacy of Government Claims

The declaration that by “reducing demand” and “cut[ting] violent porn from our society” they will somehow stop further crimes is a foolish one, as there will always be crimes, no matter what laws are passed. Statements such as “these images are extremely offensive to the vast majority” and “have no place in our society” give the impression of an ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality that dumps people who view certain pictures into the same category as child abusers and other sex criminals. Those found to be guilty of possession of material deemed ‘violent pornography’ will be treated as sex criminals, and sent to prison for a number of years.

The demand for such images will not be reduced by a law; instead it will go underground, as has happened with child abuse rings. Rape happens regardless of laws; people commit actual assault and abusive sexual acts in spite of the reduction of demand for images found on the internet. Murder will always occur, regardless of any modification in a law – it is the criminal judgement and sentence system that needs changing to mete out harsher punishment to real criminals.

People who engage in alternative sexual habits are often in adult, loving, private relationships with other emotionally stable, competent, intelligent individuals. They make informed decisions in a secure environment, negotiating an encounter or the recreation of a fantasy safely, with or without intense sensory stimulation. If this law is passed these people could be condemned and sentenced, including the possibility of having their names added to the sex offenders register, all for possessing material that might conform to the government’s hazy definition of ‘violent pornography’.

What Actually Happens in ‘Violent Pornography’?

Phrases such as “extreme perversion”, “violent pornography” and “those abused in the making” give an imprecise description of the majority of the images and films under discussion. In most of the available material, the environment is highly controlled and regulated, deliberately set up as an artificial recreation. In general, the models and participants are extensively interviewed and every aspect of the intended recreation is explained in detail, so that each participant is well-informed. There are always many people on the location, carefully studying the participants’ mental state and psychological balance before, during and after the whole experience. These interviews are filmed and the models are given all the information about what is to happen and what to expect from the experience in writing. They are given a safe signal which they can use if needed, and they are watched in case they need assistance. The people creating the experience are knowledgeable in muscular, skeletal and neurological function, and there are medically proficient members of the crew, keeping watch on the event. There are also photographers and film crew taking the stills or film. This makes most of the material extremely safe, sane and consensual, with the participants protected, and in a secure, controlled environment. Therefore, the accusations that the material available is “violent”, “extreme perversion” and “abusive” towards those involved are in fact incorrect and inflammatory.

The comparison of domestic abuse, child abuse, rape, torture, self-harm and sexual abuse with images that depict BDSM (aka ‘violent pornography’) shows a lack of understanding of BDSM practice. There is no consideration for or appreciation of the differences: instead, the images and films spoken of in the proposal are seen to be the same as exploitation and corruption, involving non-consensual aggression. In reality, the difference here is that people who commit acts such as domestic abuse, grievous bodily harm and sexual abuse violent others’ consent, are morally corrupt and need serious help. They are psychopathic, with no conscience and no social remorse. Graham Coutts, the murderer of Jane Longhurst, who had material deemed to be ‘violent porn’ on his computer, is an example of a person who is mentally unwell, with no empathy and no sense of wrong. Jane did not consent to what happened to her, but despite the laws in place at the time, a crime was still committed.

People with sure moral and ethical minds know what is right and wrong, regardless of what laws are in place; they don’t need a law to tell them that to act out an image or a scene from a film on a non-consenting human being is strongly ill-advised, and entirely illegitimate. These people can make their own minds up and judge decently, justly and with conviction. The defence of ‘corruption’ from viewing an image is weak and inadequate. Others can see the same image over and over and not make the same choice. 60 years of research shows no conclusive evidence that these ‘violent images’ case violent acts.

The Myth of ‘Protecting’ Women

One of the arguments in favour of this law is that women need protecting from men who commit crimes against them. This attitude is dated and incorrect, being based on the assumption that women are weak, abused people. Every gender is at risk from being harmed emotionally, physically and mentally, but this proposed law will not protect them – only information and guidance will. The government’s assumption that only heterosexual couples are involved in intense sensory stimulation shows their lack of understanding of the diverse range of people included in this lifestyle – from heterosexual to homosexual, pansexual, transsexual and everything in between, including poly relationships. My personal relationship within this lifestyle is with a female partner, where we participate in privates experiences that could be seen as ‘violent; and ‘abusive’, if perhaps a single image of our interaction was recorded. From an outside viewpoint, even some sex scenes could be misconstrued as ‘violent’ if a single frame was taken. This simply proves that images are not always what they seem, and there is much scope for errors in judgement. My partner and I could be targeted and dragged through media attention and slander if an image was released and misapprehended, possibly affecting our future work and bringing down family disgrace. The law needs clearer definitions of who they are protecting, including ways of finding evidence.

Information available on the Internet, including images, gives us guidance on how to correctly and safely take part in private emotional and physical connections through the powerful evocation of the senses. People who wish to participate in a fantasy recreation of intense sensory stimulation should have access to information on relevant safety issues. Fantasy can be a way of working out past issues in a secure environment, perhaps by borrowing images from films, books or art, and in the correct circumstances it can be a healthy expression of sexuality. People involved in these practices learn together and discuss and debate the safety issues of participating in such an experience, and also recognize a safe signal which can be used to convey to a partner that something is wrong. Adults do not need protection, the need knowledge and access to information so they can make their own decisions and decide on their own courses of action. Typically it is the submissive who controls and limits BDSM interaction to ‘This far and no further’, not the dominant – which completely contradicts the psychology of abuse. Within any arbitrarily selected group of people you will find someone who was abused but survived; however, that should not imply that if you take a cross-section of the population, those members of society who are involved in BDSM are always abuse victims.

The Future

With all the new media attention on consent and the misinterpretation of sexual experience as rape, I suspect the next step will be ‘consent forms’ – having to sign a document as proof of agreement to participate in sexual relations of any kind. Or perhaps our society will become a judgemental law system that does not allow for diversity in sexuality and sexual experience. A possible direction for the future may be protectionism, interventionism or regulation by a “Nanny State” or a “Totalitarian” society which enforces excessive protection, perceiving adults as corruptible, naïve and unable to make any decision.
With Section 28, “books, plays, leaflets, films or any other material showing gay relationships as normal” were banned. This was overturned after much campaigning, but showed that even in our time prejudice and judgement are still strong. Going back 20 years, S/M was still an underground thing, mysterious and dark; today, however, simple sex shops such as the mainstream Ann Summers sell toys for S/M and bondage. The programme “Sexcetera” shows every aspect of an S/M lifestyle, from bondage to fetish. So it is strange how S/M is simultaneously viewed as ‘not part of normal society’ – pathological, harmful, evil and insane – even though it is readily available and accessible to all. Sexual behaviour rarely fits neatly into a box imposed by society or religion, and behaviours such as adultery, sexual abuse and serial monogamy are more common than most societies are willing to acknowledge. I believe that this particular law is our society’s way of getting rid of perceived ‘undesirable’ forms of sexual expression by creating a law that targets and highlights practices ‘with no place in this country’. What the law forgets is that sexual liberation is growing, and people who search for a break from the mundane responsibilities of life are escaping to the erotic depths of their minds.
Conclusion – Some Suggestions for Improving the Bill
In my opinion, a shake-up of the justice system is urgently needed to correctly sentence criminals who act out sexual/mental/physical abuse, murder, child abuse etc to longer jail times and harsher punishments. This should replace the harsh sentencing of people who commit minor offences such as not paying a council tax bill or speeding. If the ‘violent pornography’ law must go through, then there should be clear definition of who the law is trying to get rid of, and who it is trying to protect. There should be changes such as the removal of the proposal to place names on the sex offenders register, as I feel that the images referred to are by no means the same or related to child abuse or sexual abuse. There should be explanation of how those enforcing this law will find the criminals and identify non-consensual acts of abuse. If consent is the issue, perhaps legal documents are needed for all participants to sign for protection in case of investigation. These suggestions could help defend those who could be targeted if the laws proposal goes through.

References:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4195332.stm

http://www.btinternet.com/~parrothouse/Thailand.htm

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Suspension

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/611704.stm

http://www.youareunique.co.uk/BDSMstudyP.htm

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-2439.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanny_state

http://journals.aol.co.uk/enflamed11968/SorryThisIsntACornyLovePoem/entries/2006/02/03/part-2/923 http://www.pleasureactivism.org/sex_pos_fem.html

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/sex/sar_rules.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_freedom

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Totalitarian

© 2007 FCK

Image: © 2008 Lucrezia Magazine. Image is an article graphic and not a depiction of the author.

Article first published on Backlash

- Backlash was created in 2005 by the Libertarian Alliance, the Spanner Trust, the Sexual Freedom Coalition, Feminists against Censorship, Ofwatch and Unfettered to collate evidence for an informed debate on censorship and to fight plans to criminalise ownership of material the Home Office finds abhorrent.